Tuesday, May 27, 2008

No. You can't call me Martha...

But! You can call me doggedly determined. At least when it comes to attempting to make something fabulous food-wise. Now, those of you who remember my very first contest at the O, you'll be thinking to yourself, "Vicki? Making fabulous food? Um. WHAT?!?!"

Seriously, though.

For real.

This is what I made!
Mama's Angel Food Cake
w/ Bourbon Creme Anglaise

I know, I know... You're all thinking. "WOW! You did a great job Vic!"

Relax.

The pic above is NOT mine. LOL. That pic is Martha's. Ya know, Martha Stewart. The one who makes everything look SO easy. Anywho, I'll get to my pic in a bit, mostly because it involves me going and getting it off the camera and on the computer and photoshopping the heck out of it... and, heaven only knows when that will happen... but I digress... I wanted to share with you a few things I learned through this endeavor.

First things first...
1. Martha has been cooking a lot longer than me.
2. Martha had the author of the cookbook standing there with her.
3. Martha had the right pan.
4. Martha had all the ingredients.
5. Martha has a staff.
6. Martha has those magical TV 'supplies' that magically appear already done (see #5).
7. Martha probably has one of these...


{it's an egg separator - who knew!}


8. Do not be fooled when watching the 10 minute segment at around 11:30 pm that the recipe is really that quick, easy and painless. It's not. Ok, so it's not if you're *me* (see contest link above and #5).

9. Separating 12 eggs by hand is messy and rather icky. Apparently there are special tools for this. And, if you're really smart, I hear you can buy a carton of egg whites at the store. Hrrrmph.

10. 30 min spent watching for the said 12 egg whites to magically turn into soft peaks is probably 30 min in which you could have run to the store, bought a cake and started eating it.

11. Staring forlornly into the mixing bowl will not make the whites stand at attention any sooner.

12. This particular recipe is just fine without the almond extract (see #4 above).

13. A bundt pan is not an angel food cake pan (see #3 above).

14. Read the bit at the bottom of the recipe about the cake having to cool for 2 hours atleast 3 hours before you think you're going to be wanting to eat it soon.

15. Whisking 6 egg yolks with 1/4 cup of sugar would be easier in the stand mixer. Go ahead and wash that bowl you just dirtied for the cake. You'll thank me for this.

16. When a recipe for creme anglaise calls for 6 egg yolks and you've already gone to the trouble of separating 12 eggs for the cake, go ahead and reserve those extra 6 egg yolks in case you get impatient at the end of cooking and turn the heat up.

17. Do NOT turn the heat up at the end of making a creme anglaise to speed along the process - it will break and you will not be happy.

18. Amaretto may not be the best substitute for Bourbon in a Bourbon Creme Anglaise sauce (see #4 above).

19. Amaretto in a glass with some Sunny D - AWESOME!

20. Angel food cake is yummy (see pic below) and Amarretto Creme Anglaise is, um, not worth the effort (see #19 instead).


{me & my cake - it's a good thing}


9 comments:

jodie said...

BWHAHAHA! See? You *can* be clever and witty while blogging! I love you (and your cake)! Yay for cake and yay for blogging! Boo-hiss for Martha and her egg-white needing self. :)

Genevieve said...

LOL You are TOO funny! But I'm right there with ya--can't cook to save my life! :)

Donna said...

Hilarious!

I have one of those egg separator thingies. I use it mostly to get sliced jalapenos out of the big honking jar from Costco that costs less than a little bitty jar at the grocery store. Works great!

Jenna said...

ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it and yep, gotta lub you for you! *winks* I love the photo the very descriptive instructions..I lived vicariously through for a moment there and HEY it's about danged time you blogged, sheeeesh!

Michelle Filo said...

hahahha I aplaud you for trying, I bet is tastes good but you will never catch me trying to cook anything that requires eggs to be separated or battered into a fluffy whatever hehehe
great post sweetie, TFS!

katg1006 said...

*ROTFL* Vicki you are too funny!! I love it!! I love baking but I agree...Martha is more than one person...she has a huge team how are we to live up to that?? :) Your cake looks yummy though :)

Cat said...

I hate Martha, but I heart you. You are too funny girlie!!

Jennifer said...

LMAO! You are braver than I am V! Good on ya girl! :)

Petra said...

LMAO very entertaining article but I think I will buy my angel cake @ the bakery hahaha!!